I’m Back With Fake Foods

We’re back from the beach and, while the car is cleaned out, the house is strewn with laundry in all stages and misc “stuff”.

Two years ago when we made the trek to FL, with the brand new trailer the Husband had spent weeks building and had just finished the morning we left, we were in a horrible crash in Hoover, AL on the return trip which totaled the car and the trailer (although, thankfully, no one was seriously injured). Now every time we pass from Cullman, AL (around mile marker 300) until about mile marker 240, I’m a jittery mess. The Husband wishes I’d just pass out for the entire length of AL. I have a loathing for all things ‘Bama since that trip. I’m sorry if you are from AL and like it there . . . my experience seriously tainted my view.

This time we witnessed an accident in TN on the way down. Crazy Man in a little Dodge Shadow was weaving back and forth, driving fast and erratically. I pleaded with the Husband to NOT pass Crazy Man b/c I didn’t want him lodged in my door so he dropped back and let another car get between us. We watched him run off the road on one side, jerk the car back on the highway and then weave his way to the other side. He spent a considerable amount of his driving time riding on the dividing lines. Suddenly he was weaving on the center line and BAM! he ran into the back corner of a semi. But he hit on the corner and, when the semi slowed, the car slid sideways and got under the trailer bumper tangential to the trailer and traffic. Amazingly, no one else hit him or was hit as the truck skidded to a halt and the Shadow’s tires went up in a black cloud and everyone on the road slammed on their brakes to avoid colliding. Crazy Man got out of the car and we pulled over. Another couple pulled over and said they had called 911 a few miles back to report the Crazy Man’s driving. He was seriously impaired. He immediately grabbed a cigarette and started smoking it . . . what’s that you’re trying to cover, Crazy Man? The Hispanic truck driver and his wife seemed to *believe* Crazy Man when he started saying that his brakes didn’t work — Hello? If your brakes don’t work it doesn’t affect your ability to *steer* and you certainly don’t have to drive 75 mph *uphill* and you could certainly get off at an exit and slow down and use your emergency brake to stop. Not buying it, Crazy Man. After 45 min of waiting, the other couple came back to say they were going on — the police had their cell phone number and info . . . still no police on the scene . . . but they pointed out that the truck had only a little black smudge on the bumper to indicate it’s involvement in the accident while Crazy Man’s car was totaled — hood smashed in nearly to the windshield, etc — and the man says — Now that there, *that’s* justice. We waited for the police for another half hour or so. By the time the police arrived, Crazy Man was trying to say the truck driver was changing lanes and hit him. Urgh! We finally got back on the road and made it safely through AL and to FL. Whew!

We stayed in Cape San Blas this time. We’ve been to the Destin area about 5 times (I can easily recommend both the Southern Resorts rental company and the Maravilla condo/beach house complex) , Seagrove once, and decided this time we wanted to be further away from people even in the off-season. Unfortunately, that also meant being away from the Food Network and HGTV, which was somewhat disappointing but we had a great beach and, due to so few people and the lay of the land, etc, there were TONS of seashells on the beach.

We had lots of beach to ourselves to build mermaids:

and to check out the wildlife:

like this grumpy looking fellow, whom we disturbed during sandcastle construction:

Unfortunately, I misunderstood the meaning of ‘our only store in town’ and decided to drive 20 miles further to get groceries the first day we were there and ended up in a tiny Piggly Wiggly that had NO SEAFOOD — in FL?! A few yards from the beach?? Also, I couldn’t find any sunscreen in the store . . . ?!? I was a little grumpy when I got back to the condo b/c it was Sunday and the little seafood shops were closed so you couldn’t tell if they were closed just for Sunday or if they weren’t open for the tourist season yet. A few days later I tried the store that was closer only to find out that it was a different store than I thought and was a much larger Piggly Wiggly that did, in fact, have fresh bay scallops, fresh shrimp and fresh red snapper. Aaaahhhh! That’s more like it. 😉

Because our family numbers six and the car has finite space, I try to pack very lightly and get what I need there and then be frugal as regards to using it all up before we leave, etc. The first few times I took along flour, sugar, baking powder, and about half the kitchen, or so it seemed. Some condo kitchens are more well-stocked than others but this one was particularly Spartan. Just the basics (not even salt and pepper in the cabinet). I only packed our 1 gallon pitcher and two-burner griddle to supplement. So the cooking was exceedingly simple. One night I wanted some biscuits to go with dinner but didn’t just want plain white fluffy Bisquick biscuits so I added about 1/4 c. shredded colby/jack cheese and of the 1 c. of liquid, I used about 1/4 c. Italian salad dressing and the rest milk. I bought a garlic pepper grinder and a pizza seasoning grinder and added a few twists of each to the batter as well. Not quite the Red Lobster cheddar biscuits, but they were tasty.

Another night I wanted to make a dessert but didn’t want to really bake so I made a Faux Frozen Mousse or Frozen ‘Cheesecake’ or some such Fake Food. I filled a Piggly Wiggly graham cracker crust with a mixture of a small tub of Lite Cool Whip and two Yoplait containers of blueberry yogurt. Then I froze it until dinner time. It was tasty, popular, and a nice light flavor to follow the seafood dinner.